Why the heck am I doing this?

Honestly, I don't know.

I guess I've always wanted to be a writer. But who hasn't? Anyone CAN write - the question is, will I?

Do I have the discipline it takes to practice and edit my work, refining everything until I feel I have done the best that I can before setting my books out into the world? Roald Dahl describes it in "Matilda" as authors "sending their books out into the world, as ships out in the sea."

That image always stuck with me.

If I was building a ship, I wouldn't send it out until I knew it was well-made, checked out, and seaworthy. Until I knew that it would survive the journey.

Likewise, I wouldn't start by building ships. I would start by building smaller items out of wood and metal or assisting a shipbuilding.

So, really, this blog is my practice barrel. My bookshelf or breadbox. The smaller items that a carpenter makes before he is a shipbuilder.

I have a friend that's a carpenter. He does really beautiful work and is a true professional. However, I happen to own a magazine rack that he made for a girl he was in love with in high school. It's horrendous. The pieces of wood aren't the same length. The stain isn't even. There is glue oozing out of the sides. But it was a labor of love for him, as cliche as that phrase is. He cared about this chick and wanted to give her a gift. Granted, she didn't care, and that's why I ended up with it. But that's not the point.

The point is that he endured and got much better, and now he's top-notch. He started with something he was passionate about and kept working at it until he was great.

That's what I want to do. I want to start writing out my random thoughts about life. This blog is more for me than for anyone else. And, dear reader, as much as I'll love you in the future, I don't care if you read this now. I don't yet consider myself a "blogger" because I don't keep up with the few blogs that I have! But maybe this random scribbly-thoughts blog will prompt me to make a real blog, that I actually think about and edit before publishing. Maybe this scratch-pad will get me back in the habit of writing. Maybe it will turn into a beautiful journal which I use to craft ideas for short stories and screenplays. (I'd say poems, but I'm a horrendous poetry writer. Also, besides music, I personally feel like poetry is slightly outdated to our society. ENGLISH MAJORS: COME AT ME!)

Or maybe this will just be something little and fun for me.

Great things usually come out of humble beginnings. And nothing comes out of no beginning.

Writing them down

I've heard people say that the first steps to making your dream a reality is writing them down.

Ok. Here's my problem:

If you have one big dream, you can write down your steps to achieve it - or just possible steps..

I have about 800 dreams.

So here's my "bucket list" that shall be added to frequently:

• Go on a missions trip to India
• Become an elementary/middle school teacher
• Have a young adult book published
• Create an interactive media ministry involving high schoolers and young adults
• Produce commercials
• Attend an accredited makeup artistry program and become a professional makeup artist (at a higher level than I already am)
• Become a head worship leader
• Write worship songs
• Teach 4 zumba classes a week
• Get my ACE group fitness certification
• Teach zumbatomic and zumba toning
• Lose 20 pounds before I get married
• Get married!
• Take off full-time work for a few years when I have children
• Send my children to public school for elementary but give them the option of cyber school
• Go to graduate school for creative writing or media

In short, all the titles I want are:

•zumba instructor
•wife
•mother
•teacher
•worship leader
•producer
•writer
•missionary

Do you think all these things are possible?

I do. Just not right away.

But I'm starting to realize that that's ok. You can only accomplish one thing at a time. I'll start inching my way through. I WILL achieve all of these, and it's OK if I'm 80 when they are all done!

Why don't we live our dreams?

Seriously. Why? What's stopping us?

Fear? Laziness? Money?

All I know is this:

If you are determined enough, you will make it happen. It's usually a combination of luck and sweat, but you'll need both. And if I'm not willing to work for what I want, then no amount of luck is ever going to help me.